November 20 -- The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.
The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cashstockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships,including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. TheSomali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, piratespokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have enteredt he final stage, Ali said. ``You may not like our price, but we are notin the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood tooffer the shareholders anything," said Ali.
The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new PirateRansom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows fromfuture ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's andS&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for thePRBS's.
Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said "we need a bank so that we have aplace to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations inthe capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at anattractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow thebusiness even faster."
Shandu added, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards andthis will just allow us to guard our coasts better!
Pretty funny huh? forwarded on the internet from unknown original source
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